Ah Here

We need to get something in for the dinner.
Well will you take the baby and I'll go look.
No you take him.
He doesn't want me, he wants you.
He's five months old,he doesn't care.
Ah, he gives out with me.
Just take him. I have to look at mattresses.
We're not shopping for mattresses.
We're not, I am. You're looking after him. And getting the dinner.
Did you not see one you liked?
I want to keep looking.
Did you not see one though.
Yeh, but there might be a better one.
Why not just get that one?
It was dear.
They're all dear.
I want to get him a good one.
But you said he doesn't care.
Well I care. I want him to have a good one.
Right.
Right.
D'you want fish fingers?
No.
What do you want?
Anything.
But not fish fingers.
No.
Donegal Catch?
Yeah.

Oh Jeremy.

Jeremy was an artist
He lived to paint and draw
Colours, lines and circles
For everthing he saw.
But when he drew my mother
In a state of full undress
The police called to her bedroom
Lifting Jeremy under duress.
An artist has a licence
To represent all of life
That's what he said the next week
While lying with my wife.

What About Ye Wee Brad.

Yer mon Brad Pitt was here
Looking fancy in his suit
Behind the railway station
Cameras rolling, acting cute.
In Belfast of all places
Far from Thelma and Louise
Still, one look at the lassies
And they crumble to their knees.
But sure his missis has him sorted
He won't step out of line
None other ill be courted
Not in this lifetime.
He's just a man like Daddy
Two arms and legs and eyes
Except he's better lookin'
The camera never lies.