Rock and Role

“What’s that you’re listening to there?”
“What?”
“What music have you got on there?”
“Oh. Ah, the main man - Johnny Hendrix”.
“Johnny Hendrix? Is he good?”
“Yeah. Legend”.
“Is he the only one you’re into?”
“Not at all. Dick Jagger, Dan ‘The Man’ Morrison, even Martin Gaye”.
“Jaysus, you know your music. Where did you pick all that up?”
“Mostly when I lived in Africa”.
“Ah right. Whereabouts in Africa?”
“Brazil”.

Mister Darcy

Darcy McNuggin was the owner of three very specific character traits.
I say ‘owner’ because that’s how he looked upon them. 
They were his and his alone, therefore he was the owner.
Nobody had loaned them to him. He hadn’t leased them or taken them on trial.
They were his.


First was his ability to predict your name before telling him.
This lost him many friends due to the time taken to establish the actual name,
but he always got there in the end.
Possibly months and several thousand attempts after the initial meeting but he got there.


An uncanny ability to match any word or sentence with a song.
His New York yellow-cab driving friend ‘Michelle’ ran out of patience with this a long time ago.
It was a big taxi.


A very specific memory of every bad sandwich he had ever bought.
These would be regularly explained in phenomenal detail and with laudable passion,
much to the annoyance of the delayed customers sitting behind him at the
McDonalds Drive-Thru window.

One thing about Darcy -
His traits may be obscure but his logic familiar.

What Do You See?

“Assume incorrectly. Go on. Try”.


Blank stare.


“Make a wrong assumption. Take a look and try and cock it up completely”.


Nothing. No reaction.


“Do you understand the question? I want you to look here and say something incorrect”.


Momentary flinch around the periorbital edema...bit of skin under the eye, to you and me.
At least that could be read as an indicator of life...a sign that there may well still
be a spark or two left in the noggin.


“Alright. Look at the picture and tell me what you don’t see”.


As questions go, it should be a simple one. Eliminate a cow, a young lady,
a field of green grass, patch of blue sky, sun, some clouds and a barn door
and you’re on your way.


“Anything at all. Name anything you don’t see”. 


He had asked that question so many times that it no longer took him aback.
Quite the opposite really.
In eleven years at the facility, only nine of them had named one item not in the picture.
Usually they seem to mutter “Cow” first and then look up pleadingly like a child
tested on his two times tables for the first time in his life.
That’s followed by an immediate reversal after processing his reaction “No, not cow….no”. 
No. Not cow. 


The flinching had been a once off, it would appear.
This one is useless.
Try for the last time. Too many others to get through today.


“Do you see a train?”


Apparently too complex a query. 
Click the ball point pen into life, grab the clip board, under the box labelled ‘Yes/No’, write ‘No’.
Again.


Press red button on top of desk.


One day it will all have been worth it.