Double You Double You Double You

I found a hole in the internet.
Just for a split second. Maybe not even that long.
But it was there.
I can't even describe what it looked like. No depth yet infinite, no light yet luminous, no sound yet deafening.
It wasn't a mistake, I know it wasn't. I saw it. The fact that no other person commented on it didn't matter.
Three days and nights I meditated on that one spot.
When it opened again, I was ready.
I jumped in.
It only opened from one side.

Your Number's Up

Three million pounds. That's what those numbers were worth to John.
Not lottery numbers.
The date of his grandmother's death.
Sole beneficiary.


You know where you stand with a seagull
They're honest, true and real
They're not interested in your opinion
They only want your meal.

Tall Story

"Excuse me", said the elephant
To the giraffe standing by
"Could you get that apple
It's really awfully high".
The giraffe looked at the pachyderm
And said with an audible sigh
"Of course, it would be my pleasure"
And inside let out a cry.
For this giraffe had great ambition
To be known as more than tall
But that is his life story
A giraffe is tall,
That's all.


Abdul, six foot six inches and Lars, four foot six had been friends since college.
They still giggled like teenagers when asking coffee shop employees for a tall black and a short white.

I Don't Think.So

Have you ever heard a rainbow speak
Or seen a cloud sit down?
A squirrel smoke a big cigar
Or an oak tree pout or frown?
Would a tennis ball like breakfast
Or a banjo want some dinner?
If you answered 'yes' to one of these
My friend - your life's a winner.
To see what other's say is not
Takes a certain sort of brain.
I spoke about this yesterday
To a spoon on a velcro train.

No Sugar

- The world is nothing in itself. Your mind must give it meaning. And what you behold upon it are your wishes, acted out so you can look on them and think them real. Perhaps you think you did not make the world, but came unwillingly to what was made already, hardly waiting for your thoughts to give it meaning. Yet in truth you found exactly what you looked for when you came.

- Cheers. But just a black coffee please.

Barley and Hopes

Jack thought about going for a beer after work.
Why not? He deserved it.
Same bar he was in last Monday.
It was quiet, nice seat by the window. Yeah.
It's full.
Seat taken.
No point. Standing alone.
Maybe some other time.

Don't Do It

Decide what you're not going to do.
Don't do it.
Don't tell anyone that you didn't do it.

Forking Hell

Thanks you for being here
For showing up in my life
I really needed cutlery
And you brought me a knife.
A fork would come in handy
But really, not to worry
I'm sure I'm not the first
To use a knife to eat a curry.