Wakey Wakey.

I can’t remember my dreams. My friend said “Well then you really NEED to remember them”.

According to my friend, if you can’t remember your dreams it means what is coming to the surface is so big and so well hidden, that the moment you waken, your conscious mind immediately tries to bury it. I’m not sure how that makes me feel.

Sounds like a nightmare.

No Time.

When you lead a busy, active life such as Gerry’s – it’s quite the task finding time to schedule anything new.

Monday is full to the brim with regret and angst.

Tuesday morning he has anger, followed after lunch by resentment and then panic all the way through to six pm. That’s tiring.

Forget Wednesday; busiest day of the week. Impatience first thing (but that doesn’t last long) then depression, anxiety, jealousy and second-guessing. Although he’d need to check that.

Melancholy is first up Thursdays – has been for years, there’s no moving that one. Introspection appears for a couple of hours in the afternoon but quickly makes way for feelings of worthlessness and self-doubt. Might as well put all calls on hold when they show up – it’ll be a late night.

You can try Friday because his misplaced optimism means a seemingly great day, but soon procrastination develops and he re-schedules. Anyway, impatience hangs around the corridors resulting in missed meetings with fear and worry. Good chance they’ll pop up again though.

You could try him at the weekends between short-lived optimism, projected needs and implied responsibilities.

Where do you find the time?

Waddle.

The line that tied him down, keeping him attached to the unremarkable, became disconnected a moment ago.

There it is…flying away, up to the clear blue sky; a streamer, twisting, finding its natural shape and charting a new and unfamiliar course. Caught by an upwind, taken higher and higher and further and further away.

The longer you look, the smaller it is.

Like the fitful penguin purposely cut loose from his herd, rejecting the norm to waddle away from the water across five thousand miles of iced interior. Uncertain why, motivated by instinct.

Off to look for streamers, perhaps.

Have Your Cake and Eat It

One slightly green, undersized banana.

One “Soft ‘n' Delicious” granola bar.

One shopping basket designed to hold more.

The two familiar items rattling around freely like space debris in a contained universe.

The same banana, the same granola bar. 

Everyday.

It’s what you do. It’s who you are. You are what you eat.

A grown up snack for the workday. Potassium and whatever the hell granola does.

He really wanted the chocolate cream cake.

From the bakery.

Moist, rich, forbidden, indulgent, passionate, morale boosting, liberating, pornographic, intoxicating, smoldering, threatening, soul-enhancing, fence jumping, rule destroying, self-satisfying, up yours chocolate cream cake.

The birthday boy, the debutante, the groom. The great day, celebratory chocolate cake.

“Just the banana and bar for you today Sir…?”

A moment’s hesitation.

Badda Bing

"So, aaay, how ya doin’ ah? Every’tings gud wit you ah? You’re happy? You got enough ta eat? You’re lukkin aftah yaself okay? Yeah? Good, thass good. I’m happy for you. That’s nice. You need any’ting, any’ting at all – you tell me OK? I’ll look aftah every’ting. No prawblem. No questions.  All rite? Atta boy. Yeah? S’all good. I like you kid. Don’t go breakin’ my heart, all right? OK. Any questions?"

No thank you father.

"Nice. Three Hail Mary’s and an Our Father. Now get outta here".

Younger Then

What time do you start work?

-No time.

Then how do you know when it is?

-I just go with the flow.

How does that work?

-Easy. I’m doing it now.

You’re just talking now.

-True.

That’s not work.

-Depends on your definition.

Work. Paid to work.

-Depends on your definition of ‘paid’.

Money. Paid money.

-Money comes and goes.

Oh, I couldn't think like that.

-OK.

How can you survive doing that?

-I’m still here.

What about the future?

-What about it?

Don’t you think of the future?

-When?

When? The future. When you’re older.

-Older than what?

Older than now.

-In an hour? That older?

No. That’s silly. Older, y’know. You need to plan for the future.

-Do you?

Yeah, it’s crazy not to. 

-OK.

You're crazy.

-OK.

Everyone needs to plan ahead.

-How far ahead?

For when you’re older. I told you.

-You did. But I was younger then.