Mister Darcy

Darcy McNuggin was the owner of three very specific character traits.
I say ‘owner’ because that’s how he looked upon them. 
They were his and his alone, therefore he was the owner.
Nobody had loaned them to him. He hadn’t leased them or taken them on trial.
They were his.


First was his ability to predict your name before telling him.
This lost him many friends due to the time taken to establish the actual name,
but he always got there in the end.
Possibly months and several thousand attempts after the initial meeting but he got there.


An uncanny ability to match any word or sentence with a song.
His New York yellow-cab driving friend ‘Michelle’ ran out of patience with this a long time ago.
It was a big taxi.


A very specific memory of every bad sandwich he had ever bought.
These would be regularly explained in phenomenal detail and with laudable passion,
much to the annoyance of the delayed customers sitting behind him at the
McDonalds Drive-Thru window.

One thing about Darcy -
His traits may be obscure but his logic familiar.

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