Oh God, my dog is snoring
It'll be the ham at lunch
He's like an old man boring
No teeth with which to munch.
So he swallows every morsel
And gulps it down too quickly
He ends up on the floor mat
Either tired or weak or sickly.
Tonight the ham had cloves in
Lovely in the tum
But a doggies' s gullet's different
It expedited to the bum.
"Get out", we yelled together
The roar induced a fright
It's not the only thing induced
As out came a spray of...poo.
The canine lies contented
It's day of thrills is over
He dreams of cats and food and pats
This mutt we christened Rover.
Away With the Fairies
Waves leaping on top of one another in the race to shore.
The wind that drives them hurrying up the dunes, flicking
the hair across my forehead unaware of it's power and grace.
A fragile whisper shape flutters across the view.
Light, feathered, transparent.
Closer now.
Two sets of wings.
"It's all real y'know. Even the stuff you cant't see".
Once again, away with the fairies.
The wind that drives them hurrying up the dunes, flicking
the hair across my forehead unaware of it's power and grace.
A fragile whisper shape flutters across the view.
Light, feathered, transparent.
Closer now.
Two sets of wings.
"It's all real y'know. Even the stuff you cant't see".
Once again, away with the fairies.
Top of Grafton Street
They took away his footsteps
That took him to the Green.
The echo of his brogue heels
Polished, bright and clean.
Remarking to a fellow
As he doffed his hat to her
Attending to his duties
With diligence and care.
They took away his footsteps
As he walked across the road
Past the dressed shop windows
Before the Green Cross Code.
If you listen closely
You can hear his disapproval
As the installation of a rail line
Begets his past removal.
They took away his footsteps
Broke them up and drove away
I wonder who will come along
To remove our own one day.
That took him to the Green.
The echo of his brogue heels
Polished, bright and clean.
Remarking to a fellow
As he doffed his hat to her
Attending to his duties
With diligence and care.
They took away his footsteps
As he walked across the road
Past the dressed shop windows
Before the Green Cross Code.
If you listen closely
You can hear his disapproval
As the installation of a rail line
Begets his past removal.
They took away his footsteps
Broke them up and drove away
I wonder who will come along
To remove our own one day.
Medical Charges
The doctor's diagnosis
For my constant malady
Was arthritis on my ear
And water on the knee.
"The first one we can treat for you
With cream and some saltpeter.
The other will be charged per week
By the installation of a meter".
For my constant malady
Was arthritis on my ear
And water on the knee.
"The first one we can treat for you
With cream and some saltpeter.
The other will be charged per week
By the installation of a meter".
'avin' a Giraffe.
To laugh, you need to think
Of some one, some where,
some thing.
Of words that once were spoken
A memory awoken.
An oak tree stands with pride alone
Not thinking of its funny bone.
It shares its grandeur with its own
Unable to find humour.
You can giggle with an ant
Or chortle with an elephant
But the belly laugh that’s real
And the emotions that you feel
Hide the others you conceal.
You should set free but can’t.
Ah Here
We need to get something in for the dinner.
Well will you take the baby and I'll go look.
No you take him.
He doesn't want me, he wants you.
He's five months old,he doesn't care.
Ah, he gives out with me.
Just take him. I have to look at mattresses.
We're not shopping for mattresses.
We're not, I am. You're looking after him. And getting the dinner.
Did you not see one you liked?
I want to keep looking.
Did you not see one though.
Yeh, but there might be a better one.
Why not just get that one?
It was dear.
They're all dear.
I want to get him a good one.
But you said he doesn't care.
Well I care. I want him to have a good one.
Right.
Right.
D'you want fish fingers?
No.
What do you want?
Anything.
But not fish fingers.
No.
Donegal Catch?
Yeah.
Well will you take the baby and I'll go look.
No you take him.
He doesn't want me, he wants you.
He's five months old,he doesn't care.
Ah, he gives out with me.
Just take him. I have to look at mattresses.
We're not shopping for mattresses.
We're not, I am. You're looking after him. And getting the dinner.
Did you not see one you liked?
I want to keep looking.
Did you not see one though.
Yeh, but there might be a better one.
Why not just get that one?
It was dear.
They're all dear.
I want to get him a good one.
But you said he doesn't care.
Well I care. I want him to have a good one.
Right.
Right.
D'you want fish fingers?
No.
What do you want?
Anything.
But not fish fingers.
No.
Donegal Catch?
Yeah.
Oh Jeremy.
Jeremy was an artist
He lived to paint and draw
Colours, lines and circles
For everthing he saw.
But when he drew my mother
In a state of full undress
The police called to her bedroom
Lifting Jeremy under duress.
An artist has a licence
To represent all of life
That's what he said the next week
While lying with my wife.
He lived to paint and draw
Colours, lines and circles
For everthing he saw.
But when he drew my mother
In a state of full undress
The police called to her bedroom
Lifting Jeremy under duress.
An artist has a licence
To represent all of life
That's what he said the next week
While lying with my wife.
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